Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
