Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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