just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
They have beer where we have blood.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
