Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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