We're like a lot better than the average bears
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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