used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
