Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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