just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
