"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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