a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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