he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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