Kiss
Puke
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
