New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
