i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
