So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
