There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
