Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I still have a little drunk in my system
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize