just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize