My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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