Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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