it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
