It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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