Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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