News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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