He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
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I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize