i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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