absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
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First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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