I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
if only i could text you this smell
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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