; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
