genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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