if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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