He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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