Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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