I cockslap morals
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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