I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
