I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
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Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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