I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
