like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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