dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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