My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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