Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize