She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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