Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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