I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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