I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
