I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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