You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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