Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
