yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
