I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
