i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize