maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
