so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
