If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize