Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
