Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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