if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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