sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
