I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
