New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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