weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
