I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
