If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Someone signed my nipple.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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