friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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