We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
