Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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